I Lack Nothing, Even When It Didn't Make Sense

I Felt Lost

I thought I had to make sense of my life in order to feel worthy or valued. I didn't know who I was then and neither did I know what was happening and why. And people boasted about themselves when they were living the "good life" and were confident in themselves. I wasn't confident like that and had a lot of insecurities, doubts, and low self-esteem. I was collecting the evidence and trying to put it together and nothing was adding up or making sense to me and I started feeling like a loser like as if I didn't matter just because I was being mistreated and couldn't figure out why and didn't know fully my identity. I felt lost. 

Jesus Came For the Lost Sheep of Israel

But Jesus said He came for the lost sheep of Israel. Therefore He loves those lost sheep and sees them as people with value and worth because of who He is and His plans for them. I was wrong about myself back then. Life wasn't meant to be rushed through and forgotten at that time. I tried living that way and it only made me anxious. 

Jesus Learned Obedience Through His Suffering

It is written that Jesus learned obedience through the things he suffered. If I hadn't been through what I did I wouldn't have been disciplined. God disciplines those who He loves. And I was receiving discipline from God because He loved me. That's how I'm supposed to see myself when I was living through those things which I couldn't figure out. 

Don't Believe the Lies

Other people may have seen me as a pathetic loser but that was not only a lie but also based on man's perception that was faulty. If others can only love themselves when they're loved by others and going through a good time, then they're very wrong about this and I don't have to let their projections affect how I felt about myself. 

Always Look to God

I always look to God to help me figure it out and see it the right way. Because many people are blinded and they don't know what they do. When Jesus was crucified, he prayed for them saying "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Jesus wants me to be transformed in his likeness and that requires me to be strengthened in my faith and be strongly rooted in my identity that even when others look down on me when I go through hard times, I still look up to God knowing I am loved and can say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." I want a heart like that. 

Pray For Them and Hold Your Integrity

Stephen prayed for those who stoned him while that was happening asking God not to lay that charge against them. Job held fast to his integrity even when his wife told him to curse God for all the trouble that came upon him suddenly. And even while Job's friends were accusing him, Job kept remembering God's faithfulness. When Job was going through what he didn't understand, even then he was valued and loved by God. It didn't diminish his worth. 

Called According to His Purpose 

I can now look at all this and tell myself from the past that I mattered and I was valued back then just as much as I am now because God had always loved me and had a purpose and plan for me. I lacked nothing even when I was going through the pain I didn't understand. I can carry this truth with me now wherever I go and when anyone looks at me like I didn't matter back then, I don't have to believe them. I can just rest in God's goodness and mercy. He is so good and always works everything out for good for those who love Him, those who are called according to His purpose. 

I Lack Nothing 

My identity mattered more than the circumstances I couldn't make sense of back then. I am not judged by those circumstances but I am judged according to my heart for God and my love for Him because He covers all my transgressions and clothes me with His righteousness. That's who I am to Him - His child who was born to receive His mercy and grace as well as be disciplined and humbled before being honored. I lack nothing.

Psalm 23:1-6 KJV

[1] The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

[2] He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. 

[3] He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

[4] Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 

[5] Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 

[6] Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: And I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Prayer: Father, thank You so much for Your mercy and grace. Even when I didn't know what I was going through, You still loved me through it and had plans for me, plans of good and not evil. Father, please bind up my wounds and help me to see myself the way You see me so that I can walk with grace and integrity for the rest of my life with You, in Jesus name I pray Amen. Praise God. 

Truth: I never lacked anything because God always loved me and had plans to prosper me even when I didn't know what was going on.